Things have been a bit quiet here on the blog and on my social media accounts the last few weeks, and that's because I have had a lot going on in my personal life.
Back in February I found a lump on the left side of my neck, in conjunction with a sore throat, and thought that maybe I just had “swollen glands”. But a few weeks later after the sore throat was long gone… that lump remained. I paid a visit to my internist who thought that it was likely nothing, but decided to send me for an ultrasound of the lump “just to be sure”. And the doctor who read the ultrasound results didn't like what she saw- so she scheduled me for a needle biopsy on my lymph node- a visit that took a few weeks to coordinate due to conflicting spring break vacations (my family's and the doctor's). The needle biopsy would reveal that indeed there was some nasty stuff hanging out there in my lymph node- a carcinoma. But that wasn't where my “problem” was originating. The cancer cells were being drained into my lymph nodes from somewhere else… and we needed to figure out the source.
Next came dozens of appointments- time to form an entire team of doctors to help me figure out what was going on and how we would deal with it. And also lots of scans- a PET scan which detects cancer throughout the body, a head and neck MRI, a spinal MRI, and about a million vials of blood.
And what we learned is that I had a tumor in my throat- hanging out right on top of my left tonsil- and he was the “bad boy” causing me all of these problems. He was the primary tumor that was draining into my lymph nodes. And the weird thing? I hardly even noticed it as there- and I felt completely fine! (Except for my back…. along the way we also learned that I have a totally unrelated herniated disc too!)
Luckily- I live in an area of the country where there are incredible doctors and research facilities doing great work on new types of cancers- like the kind that I have. My local oncologist knew exactly who I should see down at Mt Sinai hospital, and her office even secured me an appointment with “the guy” in a matter of days.
The good news- is that the type of head and neck cancer I have is “highly treatable” with very “favorable outcomes”. That means that once I am done with all of my treatments- I should be fine. And cancer free. That being said- the road to get there can be tough.
Dr Genden scheduled me for transoral robotic surgery of the throat to remove the tumor, as well as “neck dissections” to remove the lymph nodes in both sides of my neck. That surgery actually took place on May 8th- the Friday before Mother's Day. I was in the hospital recovering for three days before they sent me home to spend a week lying on my couch watching bad daytime TV while enjoying a liquid diet of protein shakes and chicken broth bookended by pain meds. Aside from binge-watching “House of Cards” on Netflix, I didn't do a whole lot last week- and it was the first time I feel like I've totally unplugged from the world…. since having babies!
This week I am feeling a whole lot better- I'm even back to driving the kids to all of their activities and making dinner and doing laundry, and trying to live a somewhat “normal life”. I went back to the doctor for my post-op check up, and they were impressed with how well I am healing and how great I look.
And then they called me yesterday with the pathology results. And while it wasn't what I had hoped to hear (“Mrs Rowley- we got it all out in surgery and you are now cancer free.”), it was what I had expected to hear, “Mrs Rowley- the tumor in your throat was removed completely with negative margins all around and that looks great. But some of those lymph nodes on your left side proved to be a problem, and that's what we need to address. With radiation and chemo.”
Ugh.
THAT'S going to screw up my summer.
So after spending a few minutes taking it all in… I got busy with what I do best. Making a plan and tackling the situation head on. I made multiple appointments with radiation and chemo oncologists to determine how much, how long, where, and when. I started letting all of the amazing supportive people in my life know what's going on- my family and my friends who have been so incredibly wonderful with all of their kind words, prayers, and offers to help. And my kids- who have been beyond understanding, and kind, and loving, and who know with all of their hearts- that this is just a moment. That our family will beat this cancer together, and then be done with it and move on to so many other awesome things.
Because this is what I know…. I didn't choose this path. For some reason, head and neck cancer chose me. But what I can choose is how I deal with it. Head on- with firm intention to do whatever I need to do to address these nasty cells, get rid of them, and then move on. Will it be a roller coaster ride with good days and bad days? Of course (Or more likely good hours and bad hours in all of the days). Will I need help from those around me? You bet I will. And I will learn to accept that help with grace and gratitude instead of feeling like that help is “taking away my normal”. (Because cancer is what is taking away my normal!) Will it be brutal? Perhaps. I will be tired and sick and probably lose my hair (And I will be shopping for my “vanity wig” soon! Because hello…. hair!). And that will suck. But it is just a moment of time in my life. A few months of feeling sick, tired, and not myself. And then each day I will start to feel better. And then a new kind of normal will return. One that will still include a lot of follow up doctors appointments and scans and stuff- but I'll be back to a regular life. Just like I am this week after surgery. It's in my future- I just have to get from here to there.
I don't want to be a cancer blogger…. but I suppose I am now a blogger with cancer. I don't intend to chronicle my cancer journey here- perhaps I will do that elsewhere at some point. The type of cancer that I have is “new-ish” and there is not a lot of information online of how a person has handled their diagnosis and treatment- and maybe I can be that person when I am ready. This site- MomOf6 is meant to be a place to share ideas to help Moms become more organized and manage a busy life all while celebrating all of the good stuff that life in a family brings- and I am still passionate about that message! I have tons of post ideas that I am excited to write and I plan to get back to that really soon!
But you are part of my supportive community and I wanted to let you know about what is going on with me.
michelle says
Oh Sharon, I have read your blog for years – being a mama of six myself. I haven’t had the time to read for a long time and for some reason, I just remembered all the fun stuff and inspiration I have gotten from you for the kids summers over the years. I SO feel you. I found a breast lump in December and have had two surgeries to remove it with clear margins. I had a very rare tumor that was benign but still considered cancer because of it’s potential to come back and become bad. I think I prepared for the surgery and the scars, but the emotional part is what’s tricky. The worry that this thing could harm me and the powerful love I have for my children. I hope we can find a way to not let this destroy our happiness! Thank you for all you do and my family is praying for your perfect health as well as mine. Many Blessings, Michelle
Sharon says
Michelle-
I am so glad to know that you were able to get clear margins after two surgeries and that no further treatment is needed. And yes- this will not destroy our happiness or our dedication to our families! We Moms of 6 have to stick together!
Victor says
Hi, I am sending all the love and prayers!
Julia says
Sharon,
Sorry to hear that you have cancer, but your greatest asset is your attitude. I laugh and joke through all of my treatments even when that curve ball came that chemo not just surgery and radiation was now on the table. I finished chem 2/17, just 4 days before my granddaughter’s wedding and just finished radiation last Wednesday May 20. I never could find a wig for me so just used baseball caps and didn’t have my head either.
Best suggestion I can give, is to set up a notebook to take everywhere. All of my doctors thought it was great and wished all their patients had one. If you would like more info on how I set it up let me know.
While you can eat as much vegetables and drink tons of water and anything else.
Praying for you and your family. Just think positive thoughts.
Sharon says
Thank you so much Julia! I do have one notebook that I have used to write down all of my questions and take notes in every single meeting I have had with a doctor. It has certainly helped to keep me organized! Thank you for all of your kind words and support!
Tina says
Our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Bestablished wishes for a full swift recovery.
Heather says
Best wishes for a speedy recovery
Maggy says
I wish you all the best and hope that you will be cancer free soon! In the meantime I hope you have a lot of support from your family and friends and enough strength to endure the treatment, although after reading your blog I am quite sure about that.
Sharon says
Thanks so much Maggie! I appreciate your warm words!
Michelle says
Time to let everyone around you take care of you! So hard for moms to do..I am sure you have and will have an incredible network of support with your family, friends, and blog friends. So glad to hear your prognosis…Prayers your way on your journey. I will continue to think of you each time I make one of your recipes for my family! Hugs your way. And thank you for sharing.
Sharon says
Thanks so much Michelle!
Angie says
Oh Sharon, I am so sorry to hear this. I haven’t had time to blog-hop as much as I used to (I am a mom of six as well LOL), but I am preparing for a great American family road trip, and I knew your blog would be the place to find some awesome tips. Then I read this and almost fell out of my chair. What a wake up call for you and for everyone else. We moms are so consumed with taking care of others that trouble can be brewing in our own bodies without us having a clue. I am so glad you noticed the lump and followed up on it quickly. Prayers for you as you spend your summer taking care of yourself.
Sharon says
Aww- thanks so much Angie! And I really want to hear all about your Great American Road Trip! It was one of the greatest summers of my life- and I can’t wait to do something similar again! So this summer- I have to live vicariously through your experience! So please come back and share it!
Joe Calabrese says
Sharon,
God bless you and your family. Wishing you all nothing but the best. Looking forward to seeing you, the kids and Norma and Ken all healthy and dancing soon.
Prayers and Hugs
Joe Calabrese
Sharon says
Awww… thanks Joe! Can’t wait to get back down to NSB and enjoy a dance! 🙂
jessica says
I’ve had an admiration for you ever since I read your first blog posting, now I can add that you’re also a corageous woman, to want to share your news with your readers, and to keep your fighting spirit also in these challenging circumstances. I am going to pray for you and send you light. However, please please do not undergo chemotherapy, which destroys your most powerful tool for survaival. Investigate other options. Tumors cannot grow where there is oxygen and an alkaline environment, so try and get plenty of fresh, raw fruit and veg, and do exercise.
A big hug from Italy.
Sharon says
I appreciate your kind words Jessica! Thank you!
Louise Sattler says
Hello and know that I am sending you hugs. I also literally walked in similar shoes. Four years ago- total neck dissection. Fast forward- I am cancer free and living a fuller life than ever.
Feel free to connect – I am friends and a colleague to Beth Engelman
Sharon says
So glad to hear that your neck dissection went well and you are living a full and amazing life! Thanks so much for leaving me your comment full of hope! And any friend of Beth’s is an instant friend of mine!
Diana says
Greetings from Canada. i admire your strengh God bless you,
Sharon says
Thanks so much Diana!
Francesca says
Dear Sharon, so sorry to read you are going through this.
My dad had exactly the same issue three years ago (throat and nodes surgery + chemo + radiations). Now he’s fine. You are right about the great improvement in cancer treatments nowadays. I pray you can mantain your great attitude and inner strenght in your journey through this and can fully enjoy life and your family as soon as possible.
love and hugs from Italy
Francy
Sharon says
Thanks so much Francesca! So glad to heat that you Dad is doing well and enjoying life!
Sarah Proctor says
Greetings and love from England.
Wishing you bravery and courage in the months ahead xxxx
Sharon says
Thank you so much Sarah!
Céline says
My thoughts and prayers to you Sharon.
Love and hugs from France.
Sharon says
I am blown away by how many readers live “across the pond”! Thanks so much for your warm support Celine!
Raffaella says
Best wishes and a big hug from Italy!
Sharon says
Thank you Raffaella!
Shirley Wood says
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you undergo the treatment. Thank you for being brave enough to share with the blogging community. Even though we may not know one another, we share a kindred spirit. I pray that you will be able to remain strong during your treatment and that you will be completely cancer free very soon.
Sharon says
Thanks Shirley. It was important for me to be able to share what was happening with everyone in my online space. You all are incredibly supportive and know exactly how it feels to need to write!
Margie says
Sending you lots of positive thoughts. Funny, how blogs can bring people into your life that you do not know, yet care for very deeply. I will keep you and your family in my prayers this summer.
Sharon says
I agree Margie. I am touched by people whom I know only (or at least mainly) online. I feel a part of their life and care for them very deeply as well. Thanks so much your positive thoughts and prayers.
Hilda @ From Overwhelmed To Organized says
Oh Sharon, I’m so sorry to read this post and hear your news. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing it with all of us. I will be praying for you and your family. I know your organizing strengths will really help you and your family and your caregivers and helpers keep things running as smoothly as possible while you focus on fighting the cancer!
Sharon says
I can already see that this will be a test of my personal organizing skills- although I had never thought I would be using them in quite this way…. I am glad I have them! Thanks so much Hilda for your support- today and always. You’ve always been there for me!
Katie Zapata says
Sharon, I know you’re going to kick cancer’s butt! Sending you lots of love and hugs!
Sharon says
Thanks Katie! Miss you!
Maryellen says
Love and hugs to you Sharon!!
Sharon says
Thanks Maryellen! Miss you too!
Kris C. says
Sharon, I’m so sorry to hear of your cancer. Please know that you DO INDEED have the support of your online community. We are here for you — sending good vibes, caring thoughts, and willful prayers — during this “one moment of time in your life.” Thank you for sharing yourselves with us. We care. 🙂
Sharon says
Thank you so much Kris- for your support now and all of the support you’ve given me over the years! I deeply appreciate you!
Desiree says
Prayers coming atcha for a quick transition to healthy Sharon. We’re here with you.
Sharon says
Thanks so much Desiree! I like the way you think- a “quick transition to healthy”. I am going to use that!
Jamie Vivanco says
My thoughts and prayers to you. I too had cancer in my throat. Mine was attached to my vocal cords. My vocal cords were removed, so I can no longer speak. After the surgery had had 6 weeks of intense radiation. But I am happy to say that August 17 I have been cancer free for 23 yrs. Yes 23 years . My youngest sons 2nd birthday was the day after my surgery je turns 25 in August. After my surgery I went on to have another baby, my girl(2 boys and 1 girl) she will be 15 in June. Keep your faith up their is hope everywhere.
Sharon says
Wow Jaime- you are a brave and strong survivor! And you show me and everyone else just what it means to overcome cancer and go on to have a wonderful and fulfilling life. Thanks so much for sharing your story here. And you are right- hope is everywhere!
Louise Sattler says
I am so sorry to hear that your cancer robbed you of your vocal chords. I have had the experience of working with people who have no ability to speak to learn ASL. If you wish a complimentary set of communication tools to help you negotiate through this portion of your life- let me know via SigningFamilies.com
I wish you the best of luck and remember- this is gratis- not a sales pitch at all.
Debra Midgett says
Hi Sharon,
I know we have not been in touch for quite some time now but I wanted you to know that I am praying for your speedy recovery. After dealing with my brother and his cancer for the past 6 years, I learned that his positive attitude towards his cancer is what has kept him going. You seem to have that same resolve. Stay strong!
Sharon says
Thanks Debbie! So glad to hear from you! Your brother is truly a fighter- and it sure helps me to know that his positive attitude has been a big part of his journey. I will stay strong!
Anne says
Sharon you have always been such a light in our community and I am so glad to have had the opportunity to meet you. You are handling this with grace and humor – the best way to handle anything! I’m rooting for you, and I hope you get a really cool vanity wig. 🙂
Sharon says
Thanks Anne! And I too am so glad to have met you in real life as well as online! I will be sure to post some pics of my new vanity wig once I have it! 🙂
Linda @GigGobGulp says
Sharon! So sorry to hear your news. Hugs to you.
Sharon says
Thanks for the hugs Linda! (Hugging back)
Melissa {Blog Clarity} says
I’m so sorry to hear the news, Sharon! I’m sure it was hard to share this with such openness but you have a community of people who are here for you. Sending prayers and hugs!
Sharon says
Thanks Mel! I felt I needed to share this online. I would see people at events or at school and I would think, “Oh my gosh… I’ve not seen them so I’ve not told them…. and now it is so weird to bring it up here…”. Love the prayers and hugs- and I look forward to hitting the dance floor with you again one of these days soon!
Kelly says
You have a remarkable attitude about your cancer. I hate that word-cancer. HATE it. But I know you can beat it, and we’re all hear to listen to your words and be here with you on your journey. I may not be able to hug you or drop off dinner, but whatever I can do say the word.
Sharon says
I hate the word too- and never thought it would be a word that would be a part of my own life. But damn. Here it is. So- I am going to talk about it, which I think helps to take away its power. I’ll take your virtual drop-off dinners and hugs and just be glad that you are in my life!
Fadra says
Well, Sharon. That sucks. Am I right? It sounds like you’ve got a good attitude and approach ( what else can you do?) but I know the reality is that there’s probably a rough road ahead.
You know writing is therapeutic so use you space for whatever therapy you need. We’re here for you and I’ll even give opinions on wigs 🙂
Sharon says
Fadra- if there is anyone I could take along wig shopping with me- it would be YOU! You would be that honest friend who would help me know the difference between the wig that makes me look like a stripper and the one that makes me look sassy! Thanks for being there for me!
Kat says
Ugh. This definitely is not in anyone’s summer plans. I hate that stupid disease, but I am 100% with you on the fact that cancer these days is so treatable. You got this and what an amazing support system you come equipped with. Stay positive and take things one day at a time. The Internet is collectively cheering for you!
Sharon says
Thank you Kat! Yeah- it’s definitely going to screw up my summer… but I hope to have lots of family come and stay with us and take over “Camp Rowley” our own “summer camp at home” so it doesn’t ruin summer for my kids! Thanks for all of your support!
Heather says
Sending you strength and prayers.
Sharon says
Thanks Heather!
Elaine A. says
Keeping you close in thoughts and prayers, Sharon! I’m so sorry you are having to go through this but your attitude is amazing.
XOXO
Sharon says
Thanks Elaine! A good attitude is probably the best weapon I can bring to the game!
Andrea Fellman says
Sharon., With tears in my eyes – I wish I could give you a hug. You are an incredible woman and mother – tough as nails – you WILL get through this!! Xoxo
Sharon says
Thanks Andrea! For all of your support! You already know you are a constant source of inspiration to me- to follow your heart, to be courageous, and to make big decisions and do big things! Those are all of the same traits that I will bring to the table to fight this cancer! Love you!
Jan Moyer says
Cancer sucks. SUCKS.
Praying for a quick recovery, few side effects and a return to full health soon. Thanks for sharing this will of us, no doubt it was hard to put into words.
Sharon says
Yep- it totally SUCKS! (I have been using that word a lot lately- because it is such a perfect fit!). Thanks for you support!
Andrea says
You have an incredible attitude about this and while there will be good days and bad, we are here for whatever you need whether it’s a good laugh or a good cry. Thank you for sharing your story.
Sharon says
Thank you so much Andrea!
Sharlene says
I am sorry that this is the battle you will have to be facing this summer but you sound so incredibly strong and determined. Cancer picked the wrong lady. I pray that God will guide you and your beautiful family through this and continue to give you such powerful wisdom and strength.
Sharon says
Thanks Sharlene- especially for telling me that cancer picked the wrong lady! I deeply appreciate all of the opportunities I have had to work with Trekaroo over the years! One of the toughest parts of the summer ahead is the fact that travel won’t be a big part of our life. That stinks!
Julie says
Sending thoughts, prayers and hugs to you Sharon.
Sharon says
Thanks Julie!
Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? says
You have the best attitude and positive light. I love the optimistic nature of your doctors, too.
I’m thinking about you and praying for you!
Sharon says
Thanks Krystyn! All of your support means a great deal to me!
Malia says
All of us gals at O2O send our love and best wishes to you! You’ve been a great asset to our network and we know you’re going to come out better and stronger on the other end of this thing. xoxo
Sharon says
Oh Malia- thanks so much! I am proud to be an O2O girl and I thank you for thinking of me!
Laura says
Oh I’m so sorry you are dealing with this Sharon BUT your attitude is awesome and will get you through some of these hard times. Being as organized as you are will also make a huge difference in how your house continues to function. Your job is to listen to your body and rest it so your body can do the fight. You’ve got this girl. I will be praying for you and your family.
Love you,
Laura
Sharon says
Thanks so much Laura! You know first hand how being organized can help you when you have to deal with something medical going on in your life- and I will take some inspiration from you in that department! Thanks for all of your love and support!
Adrienne says
Sharon, I’m so sorry to hear you have to take this ‘detour’ on your journey. It stinks!! Your attitude and organizational skills WILL get you from here to there, and you will emerge even better than you began. Because adversity, when faced with hope and strength and support, makes you stronger and more grateful for every little thing that brings you happiness. Godspeed as you get through this and be easy on yourself!
Sharon says
You are right Adrienne- gratitude is another one of the huge emotions I have right now… not for the cancer itself (of course!) but for all of the wonderful people it has connected me to. I bask in simple kindnesses and small acts of help. From the person at the hospital who noticed I left behind my heating pad when I checked out, and took the time to get it to my doctor’s office so that I could get it back, to the kind schedulers who have re-worked doctors appointments to fit me in on a quick basis- I am grateful for all of it.
Carole Poljan says
Sharon, I have always admired the way you go about living your life, from the day you & Steve were married you have set an example for all who know you. Once again you are traveling the same road making the best of every event in your life. This time the road will be bumpy, but with all the prayers & your determination you’ll get down it. Love You! Carole
Sharon says
Wow Carole- I deeply appreciate your words. We all try to make good choices in life, but to hear someone observe your own and feel that you are setting an example is pretty powerful. Thank you for that. Love you too!
Fabiola says
Hi ..
My name is Fabiola and I live in Caracas, Venezuela ..
I work for a foundation that fights breast cancer, and am fortunately a healthy Runner, but in recent months I have had a very dear person to do battle …
I keep as far as possible their blog, tips and stories. Thanks to technology and withthe help of google translator I find it easier to understand the things that people like you. ago to help other moms in the world and I admire her for that.
Right now I want you to know, that will be permanently in my prayers with my loved ones, agreed that out soon free of cancer.
The treatments are complex, radiation and chemotherapy make mischief in the bodies, but the love and encouragement make magic, allowing it to heal people faster …
Has my love and support from this side of the computer, look much joy new projects, it is that this battle is won !!!
Go ahead if you can !!
With Love
Fabiola
PD is complex if you understand my words (I hope not) is because instead of writing with what little is in English, as I help with the translator google !! jejejeje
hugs and kisses !!
Sharon says
You are awesome Fabriola! Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me, and translate your words. I appreciate all of your support and well wishes!
Brandi says
Head on and with a plan is the only way we’d expect you to kick this thing! Prayers going up for you, girlfriend. You got this. <3
Sharon says
Thanks Brandi!
Natalie says
You will be in my thoughts and prayers, Sharon. You are so strong and have such an amazing spirit, cancer doesn’t stand a chance against you!
Sharon says
Thank you Natalie! I sincerely appreciate it!
Chrystina says
Prayers, best wishes, and strength all being sent your direction. xo
Sharon says
Thanks so much Chrystina!
Rhonda says
Prayers for recovery, for strength to endure your treatment, for guidance and all this for your family too. Thank you for such a great website, I only recently discovered it and it’s been a blessing to me. I want you to know how grateful I am. I think you will be an inspiration of a different sort b/c of this. God bless you!
Sharon says
Thanks Rhonda!
Amelia says
Sending love, hugs, and strength to one of the best people/moms/cousins I know.
Xoxo
Amelia
Sharon says
Thanks Amelia! We are sure hoping that we see you soon! So glad to know you are about to become a Northeast girl too!
Amy says
Game on then! You are one of the strongest people I know and you my dear with rock this out! Love to all of you!
Sharon says
You know it woman- Game ON! Let’s get this DONE!
beth says
love, hugs, and prayers from our house to you and over your whole family
Sharon says
Thanks so much Beth!
Nicole @MTDLBlog says
Sharon, you are a remarkable person, mother and friend. I have no doubt you will tackle this journey as you do everything else – with grace and a fierce heart. I hope that you will lean on your family and friends and truly let everyone help you through. It makes all the difference when going through something that feels insurmountable at times. Much love to you my dear friend.
Sharon says
I am definitely learning to lean! Thanks Nicole!