I wrote this post a few years ago- and I have to reveal that for me, the answers aren't any easier now than they were then. As a parent- do you find it harder to watch your oldest grow up? Or your youngest?
Next week my youngest son, my “baby”, will turn 7. And just two weeks ago- my oldest son turned 12. And while my boys have been focused on planning how they will enjoy their special day with their friends and what kind of birthday cake they are going to have, I have been contemplating the passage of time, and how while the days can seem endless- upon reflection you can't imagine how you jumped forward so quickly to where you are right now.
It seems like it was just yesterday that I met my son Alex for the first time- a little guy who wasn't sure if he really wanted to “meet me” at all!
I can't believe that this was almost four years ago. Who would have known then that he would turn into this boy that adores building with Legos, sleeping with dozens of stuffed animals (especially his older brother's “Big Bear”), who would have the most delicious giggle, and would like to play computer games while wearing his super-hero cape?
I shudder when I think that it will practically feel like the blink of an eye and *BOOM* he'll be the one that's 12! What will be his favorite things then? Will he still have that same delicious giggle?
And so I've been thinking- it is harder when your oldest gets older?
After all, the oldest is the one whose job it is to “break in the parents”. It was infinitely harder for my oldest son Kyle to be granted access to personal electronic equipment (phone, tablet) than it will likely ever be for the younger siblings who will follow in his footsteps.
And at each step towards independence that he makes, I feel both proud of him and saddened that he is already growing “out of” family activities like watching “Charlie Brown's Christmas” and growing into things like texting and sharing social media posts with his friends.
So is it harder for me to watch him grow up?
Or is it harder for me to watch my youngest son get older, the one that with every new milestone and independence achieved pulls me one step further away from raising little kids?
He's the one that I still reach for to pull onto my lap and snuggle with during a movie. He's the one that still needs me to read to him at night as he is not quite ready to read stories on his own.
Is it harder for me to say goodbye to his childhood?
So I ask you, dear reader- what do you find to be harder? Watching your youngest child get older, or your oldest child grow up- and why?
Zena says
You always think you will have alot of time with you kids and loved ones. But Time coming and goes in a blink of an eye. I remember bringing home our first born son Carter in 1998 now on the 2nd Nov2019he is turning 21 years old. His is the oldest sibiling then comes may eldest daughter Natasha who has just turned 18 years in August of this year. Then our twin daughters who are 14 years old this year in May.
You never think that your children will grow up and then you go through their milestones (their birthdays 1-21,25-50 etc) graduation from primary to secondary school then final grauation from grade 12 and out looking for a job in the big wide world.
Then it is getting their license first their L plates and their driving lessons,then it is the test – then they get it. Independence.
Then it will be watching them find love, girlfriend or boyfriend, engagement,getting married and then having children of their own. The cycle starts again and we become grandparents …..
So in all this my husband and I decided to start a business which will in a short period of time give us our time and money back in which we can enjoy with our family and the generations to come.
It is hard to watch them grow up but ww all do so enjoy them and love them with every milestone. As we as parents get older so do our children and their children that is Life. Life is so very precious.
Maur says
Wow i ask myself that question everyday. I have 2 boys ages 14 & 7. And it is really tough for me i keep saying to my older son Jordon please stop growing up. His reply is mom this is life i need to. It kills me. I then say well thank god i have your little brother Jonathan. It is a very hard question but i think the answer is: its all very hard to watch them grow up no matter what ages they are. It just flashes before your eyes so take it all in ladies and enjoy every second with them.
Sharon says
You are SO right Maur!
Melissa says
I think for me its the youngest. Because there isn’t another little one behind her that will do all the sweet and cute things that make them so adorable. My girls are at great ages (10 and 5) so we have a big girl, holds great conversations and is developing her personality and has friends etc. She’s great, but if I miss the parts of her that were small and cute..her little sister is around for that. But once the little one isn’t so little…there’s no one behind her for the toddler/preschooler cute fixes I’m going to need. So I vote for the youngest getting older being the more difficult thing. Although I do tell them both to stop growing all the time and they never listen.
Stephanie @ CMTS Blog says
I only have one little one so far. It both excites me and makes me sad as he grows. I miss everything about him being a baby, but I also am excited about the new adventures he is going to have. It’s so bittersweet! I
Erin {Home Everyday} says
They are both so hard for me. Equally, but for different reasons.
Sharon says
They are both pretty hard for me too Erin…. I don’t know if I could pick! Today I would say it is harder watching my oldest turn older…. he was so mature and well-spoken and polite this afternoon at his 12-year old doctor’s visit, that I actually teared up over it.
Steph A says
What a great link up – Sharing life! I love this! I find it hardest, so far (my kids are only 4 and 2) when the oldest gets older – because she hits these “big girl” milestones and all of a sudden I have a BIG KID. The milestones are less “scary” with #2 – and although the littlest is becoming less and less a baby, I enjoy having “little girls”
Sharon says
Thanks Steph- please link up with us often! I love reading when others share their life too! So you say right now it is harder when your oldest gets older….. I see your point- because it thrusts you forward in parenthood.
Sharyl says
Hi Sharon, I think that it is equally hard. My babies are really not babies at all anymore. My oldest is now 15, he will be16 in 3 and a half months (but who is counting)–stop the clock please and my youngest are twin girls age 11 and they will turn 12 in January.
It seems like just yesterday that we were all giggling at the kitchen table and now at the ages of 15,13, 11, 11 we are still laughing…but it has changed. Luckily family time is still cherished by them and school activities are kept to our very favorite ones as to not over book ourselves–which is VERY easy to do. { Each child plays two instruments, sports, dance, church and soccer/tae kwon do–but that is it. With older children you get into the school clubs and other activities that are added into your life also.}
The texting, photos, gaming can become a real issue if you let it. We have created a check out basket where we deposit phones so we can turn that part of our lives off. Mom & Dad too need to check also.
At this point in our house–youngest and oldest are equally hard–because my babies are definitely not babies and my oldest son is thinking about leaving home for college, apartments, OH MY!~
I keep telling myself that life is what we have been preparing them. Merry Christmas and thank you for all of your shares. Love your blog. Sharyl
Sharon says
Sharyl- I am constantly telling my kids to “stop the clock”- just stop it right now and let’s hang out here at these ages and enjoy this for a little while longer! They think I am being silly- but really- I mean it!
So glad you left a comment today…..
Nicole @MTDLBlog says
Oh Sharon, that is such a tough question! I think they are both equally as hard. My Jordan is my first baby and she is so different now as a 7 year old than she was even a few years ago. The twins…they are talking and animated and funny but still snuggle like little babies. But, they’re not. {sigh} And I wonder if I’m done having babies every time I look at them and I try to treasure each little moment because of that. It’s all so bittersweet.
Tough question my friend, tough indeed.
Sharon says
I guess I know in my heart that we are “done” with having babies….. but I still get that “feeling” every once in awhile- that longing to hold a little baby again…. and to watch another little one hit all of those growing-up milestones.
But yes, we are done….. {sigh}….