Last week I shared with you my family road trip to Cedar Point Amusement Park, and on our way back we made a three-day stopover to stay at a beautiful cabin in the Pocono Mountains at a place called Mountain Springs Lake Resort. Our cabin was absolutely gorgeous- cleaner than probably any place I have ever stayed- with lots of room for my family to spread out and relax. We spent three days hiking the nature trail, playing in the lake, using the rowboat, playing badminton, and fishing. It was generally a very mellow time.
But these three days taught me a few things….
1. I Know Nothing About Fishing
I had a few kids that felt that the entire reason for staying at a lake was to fish…. except that they were stuck with a Mom who doesn't fish. Sure- I tried….. I re-strung fishing poles about 4,387 times- because nearly every time someone cast their line- they got it stuck in a tree, or in the lake under a log. And the only way to release the line was to break it. So I added new hook after new hook after new hook. I taught them how to find worms for bait (and thankfully my 7year old daughter happily bait the hooks for everyone- yuck!) I took apart the reel-thingy a dozen times to fix the line. And I worried about how I was going to get a fish off of the hook…. but that was pointless- they never once caught a thing.
2. This Road Trip Ain't Gonna Be Easy
These five days traveling solo with my kids clued me in to the fact that my 28-day road trip is not going to necessarily be an easy one. When most people hear about me taking such a road trip they tell me that they “can't imagine driving that far with their kids” or they ask me “how are you going to keep the kids entertained in the car all day?”. But none of that concerns me. My problem is once we arrive at our destination and I release 6 cooped-up kids from the car…. and they turn into wild puppies. Wrestling with each other, climbing on each other, kicking one another, and generally being silly more than naughty. Understandable right? Except that by the time we arrive- my patience-level is down around zero. So I am annoyed by this behavior to no end. And I have to battle through a massive to-do list of unpacking, grocery shopping, meal prep, and just trying to “get settled”. All while begging them to stop fooling around and HELP ME! But their helping even drives me crazy because they have to be so…. “puppy-ish” about it while doing it. Like little… wild…dogs.
3. I Can't Really Make my Kids Do Anything Anymore!
Gone are the days when I could just pick up a screaming toddler who refused to come along with me on whatever errand activity I was trying to accomplish. Now that my kids are older, when I suggest that maybe we should head out for that 3-mile nature hike I had planned, if one of them refuses to go, what I really do about it? I can't count to 3 and make him go… it doesn't work any more. And when I start using Mom-threats such as “I will confiscate your iPad for the remainder of this vacation if you don't come with us right now”- it just leads to a one-ups-manship game of “I don't care- I'm not going”, and then threats escalate to taking away his iPad for life”, and really- we aren't getting any closer to that hike. We're both just getting mad.
So how am I going to handle this on our big trip? I am going to be really super clear about our itinerary and plans all along the way so they will know that we have a hike planned at a particular time. And then when I start getting push-back, I am not going to threaten with anything. I am going to tell them we are leaving and start heading out. They will come. That's what eventually happened this time…. I started walking out of the cabin, and everyone followed. No on wants to be left behind.
4. I Need to Tap Into Some Well of Patience That I Don't Even Own
I am going to need to dig deep. And find a new level of patience that I am not sure is even within me. Whether it's taking them to the grocery store and watching them poke at each other, fight over who gets to push the cart, or play the “how many times can I kick my sibling in the butt game”, which leads to me doing that Mom-thing where I hiss through my teeth to get them to stop doing what they're doing. Or when I dangle the” ice cream for dessert bribe” (um, I mean “incentive”) to get them to eat their homemade pizza for dinner, and my youngest daughter excuses herself form the table to “go to the bathroom” and somehow her pizza all mysteriously disappears…. which prompts a Mom-special-investigation leading to the discovery of said-pizza in the toilet…. yeah… that's when I need to dig deep. I'm not sure where it is going to come from… but packing along this well of patience is going to be more important than my hiking boots.
What Are You Doing for Summer Fun?
My friend Amanda from Dude Mom and I are hosting a Friday link-up this summer…. where we will be sharing our own #SummerFunFriday stories, and we’d love to read yours! So if you have written a recent story on your blog of what you are doing for summer fun…. link up!
Adrienne says
Sharon,
I was really chuckling reading this post – and am thankful for your openness and “keeping it real.” I think we moms often think we’re the only ones who get annoyed by these behaviors and lose patience trying to outwit them! When you find that well of patience, will you send me a map to it (better than the Fountain of Youth in my book)?? Maybe thinking of the choicest “bits” that will end up in your blog will help you maintain your composure under pressure.. and turning grump into humor often helps defuse things, too. Keep up the good work, Mom of 6!!
Adrienne
Chicago, IL
The Mommy says
You’re handling it just the way I would – clearly state what’s going to happen and your expectations – REPEATEDLY – and usually they cooperate. It’s tough when they get a bit older, huh? And I thought 3 was a rough age!
We take squirt bottles (the kind you put cleaning supplies and such in) and fill with water. They last longer than squirt guns (and no, I’m not making a political statement) and they’re cheaper and easy to replace. Fill ’em up, and turn ’em loose!
Sharon says
Thanks for your advice! a stubborn 3 year old is one thing…. an 11-year old who refuses to budge is clearly testing my limits, but can’t really be forced to do anything (it’s not like I can pick him up and carry him!). So I have to focus on what I can do… which is to not let it rattle me, maintain patience and calm, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. In the long run, he doesn’t really want to miss out on what we are doing- he just doesn’t know how to back down once he has taken a position. And the more I try to force the issue head-on, the more stubborn he becomes. I am learning that if I ignore the protest and just keep moving forward- it usually works out.
s says
I wish I had some patience to send you, but I’m afraid that is one thing not in much abundance for me! good luck!
Sharon says
Ha ha! I haven’t found a Mom yet who has any “extra patience” to spare!
Laura says
I love road trips with my kids … but you’re right. Patience can be a hard thing to come by. You seem to be so well organized though! Can’t wait to follow all of your adventures!
Sharon says
Thanks Laura! I am hoping that staying organized can help the other aspects of the trip run smoothly- so that I can focus on remaining patient, and having fun with the kids!